Faith Marilyn Koller - Online Memorial Website

I recently went to Italy with my husband and several of our friends to celebrate a friend’s wedding.  We had been planning this trip for a while now and when grandma got sick thought very seriously about canceling.  Grandma got upset with me when she heard this.  Told me that this was a trip I would never forget and she really wanted me to go.  So with mixed feelings we planned the trip.  Always trying to remember that grandma loved weddings and that no matter what she would tell us that life was about enjoying the moments.  As it happened grandma passed away several weeks before we left.  Getting on the plane was bittersweet in some ways because I couldn’t help thinking about grandma.  I decided that this trip would be in part, in memory of her and set out to have a wonderful time.  Each night I raised a glass of red to grandma, looking out at the wonderful scenery and reminding myself to enjoy the moment. 

No matter what the place in time, she will always be with us, urging us to enjoy the moments. 

Each morning, I awake to a photo of Faith and me in our straw hats at Fish Lake with my family. The joy blesses me with a smile, a reminder of our special friendship. It provokes sorrow, a reminder of her absence. Then I am comforted by the words of Kahlil Gibran:

When you are sorrowful, look again into your heart and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Oh, yes.

Nan

My Dear Friend,

When we spoke or I sent a greeting during your illness, I always said or wrote, "I am present." You said, "I know your are. I can feel your presence."
When I stood, sadly, beside you in your final moments, I witnessed your fragile existence as a final breath took your life. But, your spirit remained. I felt it surround me. I needed to remain in its presence. I needed to stay with you and not leave you.

When we met, we were linked, connected, bonded forever. Our journey had begun.You called us soulmates. What a flattering word: a deeply personal relationship. 
The physical loss I feel is real but too new to believe. I have had many thoughts of another visit or another trip before I realize that cannot happen. I cannot gather you to me in a hug, but I can forever embrace your spirit. Our journey will never end.

Your dear Nan

Faith and I had a tradition of leaving small gifts for each other when we visited each others homes. In 2003, my six daughters and I travelled to Tucson, AZ. We visited Rainbow Mountain and stopped to shop. When I was checking out, I glanced at the jewelry rack and saw a silver necklace their with little building blocks reading FAITH. It was as though it hung there for me to see so I could buy it for her. And, I did. To my surprise, for another occasion, I received a gift in the mail. Faith had made a similar necklace with the small silver building blocks in my name gracing a silver chain. We always wore them when we were together. She may have worn hers with her gold necklaces that she was never without. Both are treasured gifts for me. When not wearing mine, it is displayed for me to see everyday, a treasured reminder of our special friendship.
Nan 

My stepmom Janet dug out the copy of the chocolate cream pie recipe Grandma had given her and whipped one up the other night- we just finished it off today. It brought back so many memories; I remember eating it with my dad and brother during the 'picnics' we would have on the ground indoors (a tradition grandma started with her own kids, as the Rabbi talked about) when I was just 8, 9 years old. She made my dad his own chocolate pie for his birthday almost every year with only one rule: he didn't have to share it, because it was his birthday gift. Then, one year she made ME my OWN chocolate pie with that same rule- delicious. It was there without fail every year at Thanksgiving, right next to Aunt Lanie's cheesecake and the several pumpkin and apple pies: of course dad and I stayed close to the dessert table, to be sure we got a slice of it. It's hard to think that those pies will never be made by Grandma herself again, delivered on our birthdays and kept all to ourselves. I'm so grateful she made sure we got the recipe, though: that way it can continue to be a tradition for all of us, at holidays and even for my own children someday, so we can have a picnic on the floor and a slice of that chocolate cream pie.