Faith Marilyn Koller - Online Memorial Website

I will never forget walking through Old Sacramento one afternoon with grandma.  We were fighting our way against the flow of people on the sidewalk and she was frustrated with all the people walking the “wrong way” as she put it.  She said, “Don’t people know that you are supposed to walk on the right side of the sidewalk?  It is just good etiquette.”  I asked her what she meant and she replied something like, “You should walk like you drive, you drive on the right side of the road don’t you?  Well then, you should walk on the right side of the walkway. This just ensures good flow.”  Being a child and thus always asking questions I just had to ask, “If you are in a country that drives on the left, do you walk on the left then?”  She didn’t have an answer to that.  Of course the whole time we were having this conversation we were stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk, sufficiently inhibiting the flow of traffic. 

Interesting side note: Some years later I was thumbing through my copy of Miss Manners (how I come to have a copy is another grandma story), and decided to look this “rule” up.  She was right!

           As I stated at the service, I've never been the best at expressing my feelings, sad or otherwise, and so ended up writing this with the idea in mind that it was just for grandma's ears. Of course it's not everything I wanted to say, but it is something I felt needed to be said. Love and miss you Grandma- what a role model you were and are!

           "When I was first asked if I wanted to do a eulogy, my immediate thought was that I wouldn’t be able to get through one and so I probably shouldn’t. But if my grandma deserves anything, it’s for her family to tell you what I’m sure you all already know- about what a wonderful, intelligent, tough, strong woman she was. I won’t even try today to talk about every wonderful thing my grandma did for me and my family, because it would be impossible to fit all of that into a short little speech. What I will say is this: my grandma always cared. She always wanted to know WHAT we were doing, and HOW we were doing, and she genuinely wanted all of us to be happy and healthy. While she expected all her grandchildren to abide by certain rules (the most memorable of which was ‘eat everything you take!”), she NEVER expected us to fit a certain ideal or standard. She loved every one of us for who we were and who we are, and showed us she supported our individuality by attending endless games and competitions and plays and performances. When she couldn’t attend, she asked questions; how our grades were, what clubs we were involved in, and how we were liking school. Despite the exhaustion it brought her and the extreme effort it took, four days before her passing my grandma took the time to ask me about my finals, about my grades and my plans for the summer. She cared. For anyone who underestimates the value of someone who cares, I will say this: don’t. Someone like my grandma, someone strong and smart and genuine, is a rare person to come by. Saying she will be greatly missed is an understatement, but I know that having the memory of someone who cared and loved us all so much, no matter who we were or what we did, will be a great comfort. I miss you grandma. None of us can ever thank you enough for everything you did. I love you, and I’m proud to be your granddaughter."

“And on the seventh day God rested…” It was Sunday when she passed.  I was at home getting ready to go to work when I heard the news.  On Monday I went for a walk.  I thought about the ways that my grandmother had touched my life and the lives of others.  Let’s just say that I can’t count that high.  She helped raise me and taught me so many things.  The most important things were that she taught me to LEARN, LIVE, and LOVE.  She always stressed my schooling and was always looking for intelligent conversations.  She has so much knowledge and wisdom that I was surprised I was ever able to keep up with her.  She taught me to make the most out of my life, to follow my dreams and accomplish the things that are important to me.  Finally she taught me to love.  To love my friends.  To love my family.  To love myself.  To love the life that I would make for myself.  Someone so loving and forgiving had an amazing impact on my life that I’ll never forget. 

A couple of weeks ago grandma noticed that I have a tattoo on my wrist.  I had kept it hidden because I knew she wasn’t a fan.  Even in her state with everything going on with her, she was concerned about my life.  Instead of announcing it to everyone there, she drew me in close and asked why I had gotten it.  I explained its value and meaning to me and instead of getting the lecture I had anticipated, she approved.  And then told me not to get any more.  And I knew that no matter if she approved or not she wouldn’t love me or think of me any less.  She was selfless and forgiving.  She would go out of her way to be concerned with or help others despite her own situation.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, “Live your life to the fullest, for it’s the only one you have.”  My grandma Fifi was who this quote was intended for.  I just hope that I can one day say that I lived as full and as compassionate as my grandma did.  I love you grandma and always will.  Thank you.

-Spencer

Grandma,

Your love, honesty and caring words have always been like a guiding light to all.  In a world where it’s hard to know who to count on, you were a unique treasure that I always assumed would be available.  I mourn for the loss of all of us who knew you, grandpa, my mom, and my aunts and uncles.  I also mourn for those who never met you, because they will never know the warmth your presence created in all the lives you touched and they will never have the beautiful memories which we all cherish. 

 I love you Grandma, and I will miss you.

 Rick Saber

I have so many wonderful memories of grandma that I can’t even begin to share them all.  Like the time we were visiting her is Susanville, and my grandma, mom, and my uncles were in the living room doing lottery scratchers and grandma won $50.  They were all celebrating, when all the sudden she stops and starts laughing.  The others ask her what was so funny and she said, ” how are we going to cash it?”  Reality had set in see, mom worked for the lottery and winning ticket or not, none of them could redeem the winnings. 

From trips to the nutcracker ballet, to sleepovers and Disney movies, there are so many things we have shared over the years. 

The hours we spent pouring over my Algebra homework each night while in Israel, when what we both really wanted was to be lying out on the beach in Tel Aviv, or Eilat or whatever city we happened to be in that day. 

Or buying jewelry for myself and telling Grandma that one day I would be able to buy myself real diamonds.  Grandma told me to wear them like they were real and no one would ever dare ask me otherwise.  If anyone ever did have the nerve to ask, Lie, they deserved it.  I wore those earrings with pride for years and even now will wear them just because they remind me of her and make me smile when I do.

But I think one of my favorite stories is from our trip to Israel.  Mom, Grandma and I were walking through the Jerusalem Botanical Gardens and we encounter a gentleman also out for a walk.  After a brief conversation we say our goodbyes and he busses Mom and Grandma’s cheeks and grabs me and kisses me full on the mouth.  Before Mom or I have a chance to even register what is happening grandma grabs up her umbrella and starts beating the man over the head and shoulders with it.  She didn’t let up and chased him clean out of the park.  The rest of the trip we would joke about not stepping out of line or grandma would get you with her umbrella.

There are many sides to this wonderful person I proudly call grandma.  From the warm loving grandma that could never get enough kisses and gave the best hugs, to the Disney lover and Kid at heart that helped me to destroy the competition on trivia night on board the Disney cruise we took.  To the cool intellectual who never got worked up over an episode of Jeopardy. 

I feel truly honored to have been able to spend so much time in the company of my grandmother.  Everywhere we went; there was an adventure and a story, a tale and a memory to go with it.  Even after I moved away, and came back again, that special bond I had with her was as strong as ever, and I know that is in large part due to her never wavering love.  It was always a joy to be able to visit Grandma and hear about the new adventures in her life.  Whether we talked in person or by phone it didn’t matter. The stories and memories were as vibrant as ever.  Hearing about the trips she took with friends and the time she spent with them.  Seeing the pictures and the mementos she brought back with her and listening to the tales that went along with them.

I am going to miss all sides of her and know that without a doubt that I am a better person for having had her in my life.  

I love you grandma and know that you will forever be with me.